I think it’s time. In fact, I think it’s long past time. I’m going to brave the wrath of the vagina warriors and tell them why I think they suck. And I’ll do it with a smile, as I prepare for my planned c-section.
I am so tired of people who think that they have any right to tell me what kind of birth I should have. Unless you are my doctor, it’s none of your concern. Yes, I am having a c-section. Yes, I know that VBACs are possible, but I appreciate your assumption that I don’t educate myself on all of my options before choosing one.
I tried labor both ways with Oliver. After 5 hours of pushing, I had an emergency C-section performed because Oliver was in trouble. He wound up with meconium aspiration, and they were worried that he would develop pneumonia (luckily, he didn’t; he recovered remarkably fast and has been a healthy sturdy little boy ever since). Still, he was in the NICU for 5 days as a result. Why would I risk that again?
I found that a vaginal birth wasn’t really to my liking anyway. I’m really sort of a private person (as I reveal all of this on the internet hehe) when it comes to my body, and I just wasn’t comfortable with so many people paying attention to areas that I’d rather keep to myself. I found the whole experience to be humiliating and degrading for me. I know that others don’t feel the same way, and that’s fine for them. I didn’t like it. It seems much more humane, to me, for me, to have a c-section.
Still, the vagina warriors are at work. There is so little written about c-sections, and when you mention to anyone that you have had one, they start asking questions–as if it’s any of their business about my medical history, or the intimate details of my delivery. People are so quick to judge, and I don’t understand why. Because I wasn’t prepared for a c-section, I, like many women, was shocked and sad afterwards. Maybe if I hadn’t had an epidural? Maybe if I had tried to push again? Maybe I did something wrong?
Now, to all my c-section sisters, I say whatever! I had a c-section. And I had a baby boy, and he was and is wonderful. I refuse to get defensive about it–there is nothing to defend. I am going to deliver another baby, and I’m going to do it the way that makes sense and works for me. I don’t care about others’ opinions of me, and if someone gets rude or offensive to me about my decisions–which are none of their business anyway–I’m going to let them know how I feel about it and them.
I don’t feel like this post is as cohesive or coherent as I’d like. My point, though, is to convey to all the vagina warriors out there–leave mine alone.