I was busy working, and totally not paying attention to whatever Conner was talking about.
All I caught in the sentence was, “You… are… ordinary…”
Yep, he’s in trouble. I think he might have been saying something totally different, but I wasn’t listening.
Dear kids,
You’re making me bonkers.
Love,
Mommy
As Oliver figures out his world, I think it’s normal for him to classify things into groups based on what he sees.
This morning at breakfast, Conner was singing a silly made up song, and ended it by asking Oliver if he wanted to go to work.
Oliver looked at him very seriously and said, “I am a boy. Girls go to work. Boys go to school.”
1. People let you down. Sometimes over and over again.
2. You have to clean up after yourself (or pay someone else to). Or things will just stay dirty.
3. Cars need oil. And when your car is low on oil and sounds like a tank but is really just a Toyota Corolla with two children in the backseat, you don’t look cool.
Things grownups may not know yet:
If it is spelled “grownup” or “grown up”. Perhaps when you have grown up you become a grownup?
While I was sitting in a meeting today (errr), I wrote some limericks about a friend of mine.
There once was a man named Wylie
Who loved to listen to Miley.
He saw her acting in a flick,
And started to get sick,
And told Katy he was feeling “bile-ly”.
I once knew a guy named Mike
Who said “Cheerio” and “Oh Crike!”.
He fancied himself from Wales
He loved to visit their jails,
And rode around town on a bike.
And finally, about Mike W-
He was sad, with no one to blubber to.
He remembered when he was a kid,
I’ll tell you just what he did.
He sat down and ate lots of rubber glue.
1. Brownies are good and will be done in about 40 minutes. Brownie batter is better, but gone.
2. Saying “myself” a lot doesn’t make you sound smarter. Especially when you use it in place of pronouns like “I”. For example, saying, “Myself and my boyfriend are going to the store,” makes you sound dumb, because that is not a situation where one should use ‘myself’.
3. Hazel pooped while she and Oliver were in the bathtub tonight. Thank God for Conner, because he cleaned it up. I was gagging and asked to please leave the room. It was really really gross. Conner also cleaned the bath toys, and rewashed both children.
4. Traffic was so bad on I-495 today that I left work at about 3:15 and did not get home (26 miles away) until 5. Unreasonable.
For all the derision I feel for people who are incapable of using an elevator properly, I was properly shamed today.
At work, I was calling the elevator to go down… and pushed the up button. And didn’t notice what I’d done until it was pointed out to me.
Mockery ensued. I deserved it.
Hazel has a few words (Mommy, Daddy, tickle, baby, ball, eat, apple, book, and I think a few others). She’s also gotten to the stage where she has more sophisticated wants than she has vocabulary for, and she hasn’t quite mastered pointing. It’s frustrating for everyone; I’ve been trying to introduce sign language (we have got milk and eat down for that), but it’s still a frustrating time.
At the same time, she is delightful. She has more personality than her size would imply. She’s her own little person, through and through. She’s feisty, independent, and loving. This little girl loves! She loves the cats–even The Beast, who is kind of unlovable. She sees the cats, points, smiles and looks ridiculously happy. She’s very gentle with them (for the most part), and approaches them gently and slowly. It’s like she has an instinct for it. And she’s incredibly sweet with her stuffed animals. She’ll pick one up and carry it around all day, and smile at it. She’ll hug it tight and make it give her kisses, and then is delighted with the kisses she just got.
She has a favorite book–Fifteen Animals by Sandra Boynton. I read it to her every time she gets into bed, and she holds the book while she sleeps.
She loves Oliver. They adore each other. They sit in the back of the car and have conversations. Oliver will ask Hazel questions, and then say, “Yes or no, Hazel? Yes or no?”. Hazel will nod or shake her head, and Oliver will take it very seriously. They listen to each other.
Oliver becomes more and more of a total character. First, he can remember everything. Once, about a year ago (when he was just-turned-two), I picked Conner up from Army (heehee!), and we had to wait awhile for him to be ready. We got out of the car and one of the other infantry guys brought out a ball for Oliver to play with. This weekend, when we were there, Oliver asked if he could look for that man with the yellow ball. How can he remember that?!
He also has this amazing imagination. He has started playing pretend games, and is very elaborate with what is going on. Things often get stuck in the mud (I don’t know why, but that’s been an ongoing theme in his imagination since last summer). Today, a dragon got stuck in the mud and Oliver couldn’t get him out! I offered to help, and proceeded to attempt to pull the dragon out with all of my might, but my attempt was foiled! The mud was too thick! So Oliver found a hero who saved the dragon from the mud and they were friends.
He also talks a lot about his “work-job”. When we tell him to do something, his response is likely to be, “But first…” Often, first he has to go to his work-job. When caught picking his nose, he has explained to our nanny that picking his nose is his work-job. And when prodded further, declared that Hazel is his boss at his work-job, and makes him pick his nose. And pays him $1 for it.
So, when did this happen? When did my kids stop being babies and start being these intelligent, imaginative, loving, really cool people?
Also, just for kicks:
This evening, I auditioned for a part in a local theater’s production of Hello Dolly!
I am trying not to get my hopes up, for a number of reasons.
1. They didn’t have me sing any scales, which implied to me that they weren’t really interested in my range.
2. I closed my eyes while I was singing.
3. I didn’t do a very good job during the dance (I don’t think).
However, just going to audition was a big deal for me. So, even if I don’t get a callback, or even if I don’t get a part, I’m proud of myself for doing something difficult. I was so nervous during the audition that my teeth were chattering and I was shaking and freezing cold.
Ahhh, isn’t it wonderful to have a cliche as the title of a post?
This morning, Hazel woke up at 4, and then again at 5:30. At 4, I nursed her and put her back to bed. At 5:30, I was going to do the same (or, really, just bring her back to bed with me), but she woke up Oliver.
I tried to convince Oliver that we should all go back to sleep and that it was too early. He disagreed and thought that we should all go have breakfast. He was not deterred.
So I was cranky. I got the kids breakfast and was grumpy. (Granted, they were whiny from being up too early themselves.) But while I was snapping at Oliver (again), I looked at the clock and realized that this is the time that I get up every day for work. So, while it is unreasonably early to wake up at 5:30 (I think, at least), on a weekend… it’s not that different from my norm. And I don’t think that I go into work and snap at my colleagues all morning–even when they’re whiny.
I apologized to Oliver for being a ‘Grumpus McBumpus’, and we had a fun morning after that. The neighbors will probably complain, but that’s another story for another day.
