A Current Pet Peeve

I was a devout Mormon for 6 years.  In the last year, I have come to believe that the Church is not what it claims to be, and thus do not align myself with the Church or its teachings.

The following are NOT the reasons that I left the Church:

1.  I wasn’t committed enough.  I was 100% committed to the Church.  I read my scriptures every day, I prayed every day, I went to Church every Sunday, I had a relationship with God, I served faithfully in my calling, I attended every session of General Conference, I went to the temple as often as I could, and followed the commandments to the best of my ability.  My reason for leaving the Church had nothing to do with me not being committed.

2.  I was entrenched in sin.  I was eligible for a temple recommend, commandment wise, until at least 6 months after I stopped believing the Church was true.  And even then, I only drank coffee because I was told that I could in a clear answer to prayer.

3.  I was too caught up in the world and in worldly things.  As a devoted member of the Church, I actually became somewhat out of touch with worldly things, as I rarely encountered them.  In retrospect, I was getting caught up in pride within the Church, and thus was growing further away from Jesus Christ.

4.  I am lying to myself about the answers to prayers.  Some of the clearest answers to prayers that I have received have felt incredibly similar.  One of these was the answer to prayer about whether I should get baptized by the missionaries.  I should have, I did, and all was good.  Another was the answer to prayer about whether I should continue going to the LDS Church.  I shouldn’t have, I don’t, and I can honestly say that I am a better Christian for it.

I know a lot of people who believe that the Church is true.  I don’t.  The more I learn about the history of the Church, and the practices of the Church, the less I want to align myself with such an organization.  I can deal with the paradox.  God tells some people that the LDS Church is true.  God didn’t tell me that.  God works in mysterious ways, and I’m cool with that.  I won’t even pretend that I can or could understand God.  🙂

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One response to “A Current Pet Peeve

  1. I found your blog through your husband on postmormon.org

    I just wanted to say I appreciate your thoughts here. I have found myself feeling the same things. A TBM friend of mine made the comment the other day that a girl who left the church has become so worldly. What a horrible thing to say. As if people have to be immoral or sinning to stop believing.

    #4 was great. I had the same experience. I was supposed to be a member adn now I am not. I can see what I learned as a fully active member and how it has helped me but now it is time to move on.

    I hope you don’t get too much judging from other members. God bless.

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