Oliver’s Surgery

Oliver is having dental surgery tomorrow.  Genetics, playing a mean game of selecting the bad genes, chose to give him my teeth.  He needs crowns (stainless steel!) on his baby teeth, possibly extractions, fillings… the whole gamut.  They’re giving him general anesthesia.

I’m stressing.  I will be with him when they put him under, and will be there when he wakes up.  And I will be pacing the floors in between.  I’m bringing his Panda Bear, and everything is all set to go.

But he’s my baby.  And I’m scared.

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Mommy Guilt

Maybe this time I deserve it.

Oliver desperately wanted to play Mario Kart tonight (note that this means that I play and he holds an empty wheel, spins it around, tells me all of the stuff that “his” car is doing, and gets all excited–it’s really cute!).  It was already past bedtime, so I told him that he would have to choose–books, or Mario Kart.  Honestly, I thought he would choose books.

He chose MarioKart, and we had a delightful time racing around the corners and yelling and being excited.  Then I tucked him into bed and all was well…. until he saw a book on the floor.

He wanted me to read it to him.  I told him no.

Yep, that’s right.  My three year old asked me to read to him and I said no.  We played video games instead.  Feel free to judge me; I’m already feeling the persecution of the gods of education and reading and stuff.

Annoyed at “An Invitation”

Conner received a response from the LDS records department following his resignation letter. It said the standard, “We don’t deal with this in Utah, but your bishop will get back to you” stuff that we expected. It also talked about the seriousness of the decision he was making, and they encouraged him to read the enclosed pamphlet and come back to the Church. Nothing unusual or unexpected there.

However, the pamphlet annoys me. It is titled “An Invitation” and has a photo of the statue of Jesus that you find at Visitor’s Centers across the country (world?). What gets under my skin about the invitation is that it exhorts Conner to please not be offended. “If any have been offended, we are sorry.” It encourages him to come back to the Church even if he is sinning. “To you who for any reason find yourselves outside the embrace of the Church, we say come back… and partake of the happiness you once knew.”

It’s no wonder that people assume that the only reason that one leaves the church is because he is offended or committing sin. It is no wonder that accusations of adultery, fraud, etc have been hurled at people close to me. (People don’t dare say that to me–I think it is presumed that I am “offended”.) The Church assumes that Conner either offended or committing serious sin!

And inviting him to partake of the happiness he once knew? Because he is no longer happy? I suppose it may be difficult to believe it, but while there has been difficulty in our lives since leaving the Church–knowing that family members are hurting as a result, having more choices (and thus more difficult decisions to make), coming to understand how we feel about Jesus and God and religion without the restrictions of what “we” believe being placed on us… that is all difficult. But we are happy.

I no longer consider myself a Mormon (although I did not remove my name from the registry and have no plans to do so). However, I did not stop attending church because of any of the following reasons:

  1. Conner made me–I dare someone who knows me well to try to “make” me do anything.  Try it.  Seriously.
  2. I was offended–I wasn’t.  I think Mormons are great people, and many of my favorite people are LDS.
  3. I was committing sin–I wasn’t.  Nothing serious, anyway.  I left with a valid temple recommend, thankyouverymuch–and not because I had lied or cheated or just not given it back.
  4. I wanted to be committing sin–There is no sin that is cool enough or awesome enough or anything to make me abandon my beliefs.  Now, I do occasionally drink alcohol, and coffee is on my daily must-haves, but this all transpired pre- and post-church (and, due to spiritual experiences I have had, I believe that this is with God’s blessing–the coffee, anyway).
  5. I had just never had a real testimony–I knew when I joined the Church that I was doing what God wanted.  I stand by that.  I also believe that God had a hand in me being where I am today.
  6. Satan answers my prayers–I guess if that’s how people need to deal with the cognitive dissonance of me, that’s their business, but I don’t believe that God and Satan sound the same.  And if Satan told me to leave the church, Satan also told me to join it.

There.  I’ve spoken my piece and counted to six.

And, also, anyone get the reference?  🙂

Branded

Conner got a new tattoo yesterday. I would like to put out in the world that I did not pressure him to do it. He’s been talking about this for as long as we’ve been married (which was the dawn of time, which happened to occur in 2001). And, no. I’m not reciprocating.

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What do you think?

Elevator Usage

So, every day at least two or three people find my blog when they Google search for “How to Use an Elevator“.

I don’t know which is more sad–that so many people know how to use Google, but not an elevator, or the sheer number of people who spell elevator wrong. Or, maybe the fact that there really are so many people who are so dumb when it comes to using an elevator in the first place. Especially people who should know better–like the people who live in our building, where we have an elevator.

April Showers

I was reading a blog post by Mama Saga about an activity she did with her daughter during the month of March.

I realized that I am a slacker mom whose activities with her own children involve more throwing stuff at each other, dancing and singing silly songs (all of which are important and fun) and probably not enough learning and conceptual stuff. Oliver is smart nonetheless, probably more a product of genetics and less a product of my incessant need to make rhymes out of our conversations. But I’ve seen him flourish in Sunday school classes and under the direction of our incredibly nanny.

So, I decided to do what any American-high-school educated girl would do. I copied Mama Saga. 🙂

Since March is over, I had to come up with a new idea. (And note that although I suggested it, Conner actually implemented it, so I actually deserve no credit for this even a little bit.) The slogan for April is that April showers bring May flowers. We created a calendar for the month and are putting raindrops or suns on it depending on the weather that day. At the end of the month, we can count up the number of days that it rained and see if there were a lot of April showers.

Here is the calendar that Conner and Oliver made this morning.
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PS: If it’s not obvious, Oliver did the coloring of the calendar… (although it easily could have been me).

Oliver’s Tattoo

When Kullervo first got his tattoo done (of Odin and Sleipnir, his eight legged horse),
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Oliver would tell us every day about his tattoos. He would pretend he had one on his nose, on his arms, all over his body. Usually he said that his tattoos were of some of his favorite TV characters (specifically, The Backyardigans). Once the newness of the tattoo had faded, though, he stopped talking about it.

The other night, he was painting after Hazel went to bed and got paint on his leg.
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He told me that that was his tattoo. When I asked him what his tattoo was, he told me “Sleepsha and Sheepneer”. He was pretty proud of it.
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Then, he got more paint on him:
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These were also tattoos. One was “Ooks and his horse Sheeks”. The other remained nameless.

However, he did make me scrub them off before bed. So I think that he maybe isn’t ready for a real tattoo just yet.