And That’s Why You Don’t…

Quick!  What’s the title a reference to?

OK, onwards and upwards. My one-liner of the day (after the a lengthy intro, of course):

After dropping Conner off at drill tonight, I was trying to wrestle post-surgical clingy Oliver and independent, feisty Hazel into the apartment. Oliver wanted me to carry him. Hazel didn’t care, but if she walked, she walked where she wanted to go.

I managed to get Oliver to the door of the building, and then ran after Hazel and dragged her in too. We got upstairs to our floor. Oliver still wanted me to carry him. Hazel marches off the elevator and we ran into one of our teenage neighbors. Oliver was glued to me. But Hazel had found a random electrical socket in the wall. I was futilely trying to nudge her away from putting her fingers into the socket by attempting to cover it with one foot while balancing on the other and hoping desperately that I wouldn’t fall.

The neighbor asked if he could help, and swooped up Hazel and carried her to our apartment. She started crying (predictably). In order to fish my keys out of my purse at the door, I had to put Oliver down. So he started crying. I opened the door, and both kids were shrieking–Hazel from the indignity, and Oliver because I told him to walk over the threshold.

The neighbor was walking away and I called after him down the hallway, “Hey–if this isn’t good birth control for you, I don’t know what is!”

I heard him laughing down the hall.


One response to “And That’s Why You Don’t…

  1. What an awesome neighbor, I just (sarcastic) LOVE those moments when you need extra arms and legs and you feel like you might be being “punked”. You are such a good mommy.

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