Mom Hell

I’m going there. If there’s a Mom Hell, I’ll probably have a leadership position (resident CPA, perhaps?).

I teach Oliver wrong things. Not the kinds of things that could seriously damage him or anything–like, skipping letters in the alphabet, or that purple is blue and stuff. No, I teach him other stuff.

Me: Oliver, how old are you?
Oliver: I’m two.
Me: You’re two and a half!
Oliver: I’m two.
Me: OK. How old is Mommy?
Oliver: Mommy’s two.
Me: Mommy’s 26. How old is Daddy?
Oliver: Daddy’s 26 too. [he’s not]
Me: No, sweetie. Daddy is 42.
Oliver: (mischeviously) Daddy’s 26.
Me: (laughing) No!! No!! Daddy’s 177!!
Oliver: Daddy’s 26.

So, on reflection, maybe I don’t teach him wrong stuff. He just ignores my blatant lies. Beh.


Catching Up!

I get emails from various places talking about child development that are supposed to be geared towards the kids’ ages.

As Oliver has gotten older, they’ve become less and less in line with what he’s doing. It’s always felt like I was getting emails that said, “Your child is probably skipping all over the block, doing math problems while blowing bubbles. Encourage this behavior and make sure that you’re implementing algebraic equations into your play time.” And when I got these emails, Oliver wasn’t even able to walk yet.

But today I got one that said the following:

By 30 months, your child can name a few body parts, some colors, and even a friend or two. Her memory and speaking ability work in tandem. Help out by expanding on what she says. If she says, “Dog sleep,” you might say, “Yes, Spot is curled up and fast asleep in his doggie bed.” She can’t imitate your complex language patterns yet, but her brain is absorbing them. Every time you repeat her words or expand on them, you’re giving her memory practice.

Well, all I have to say is that at 30 months, my child knows most of his body parts (and some choice ones of his sister’s!), most colors, and more friends’ names than we stay in contact with, as well as the names of ALL of the Thomas the Tank Engine characters. He also does talk about things sleeping (mostly Thomas trains), and will play imaginatively with them, putting some of them down to nap [Aside: how cute is that?!] while others keep pushing the coaches or the freight trains.

So, my son is finally ahead of the curve, and I officially have decided that he’s a child genius. 🙂