My Kids Think I’m Stupid

Oliver's painting

Oliver walked out of school today holding this painting he had done in art class today. Since the fish pictures are textured, I asked him what he had used to paint them (wondering if they had maybe cut designs into potatoes, or used sponges, etc.)…

His response?
“Paint, Mom. I used paint.”

Thanks, kid.

Quotable

Some random quotes from my Friday morning:

Oliver: I have a rhyme!

Um, um, um, um,

I have a butt.

Kullervo: That doesn’t rhyme.

Oliver: Oh, yeah. I thought it would.

(between Oliver and Hazel)

Oliver: I spy with my little eye… something brown!

Hazel: What is it?

(walking the kids to school)

Random Woman, to me: You look so cute!

Me: Thanks!

RW: You must be about to pop any day now, right?

Me: Nope, I still have about 10 weeks to go!

I spend my days laughing… is it any wonder why?

Lessons Learned

image

Things I learned from my kids today:

1. Little things bring a lot of happiness.  Oliver was so excited today when I ordered him a pair of jeans that came with a belt. His first belt!  He was also thrilled to be able to use a little lamp I just clipped onto his bed to read just one more book before going to bed.

2. If you teach your mono-lingual child about false cognates, and he comes up with a Nintendo DS being a false cognate for diez-the Spanish word for ten-you should just go with it.

3. Sometimes, having someone else around to help you change your underwear and sheets after you wet the bed can make your whole night better. (And major props to Kullervo for his ability to change sheets lightning fast! If there were parental superpowers, that would definitely be one of them.)

4. If you tell kids that their Auntie E really misses them, they will pose for a picture to make her day.

BATS

Oliver took it upon himself to teach Hazel how to read today.  He asked me how he had learned, and I told him that we had started with simple letter combinations, like AT, and then built on them, by adding “B” for bat, and “C” for cat, etc.

So, Oliver walked over to his chalkboard and wrote “AT” on it.  His conversation with Hazel proceeded like this:

Oliver:  Hazel, A-T says at.

Hazel:  At.

Oliver:  Good!  Now you can read at!!

(Oliver writes a B in front of at.)

Oliver:  Hazel, what sound does B make?

Hazel:  Buh.

Oliver:  That is correct.  [Note:  He really said that!]  Now, if you put ‘buh’ with ‘at’, what does it say?

Hazel:  Buh-at.

Oliver:  That is incorrect.  It says bat.

Hazel: Bat.

Oliver:  Good!  You can read bat now.

(Oliver writes an S after bat.)

Oliver:  Hazel, what sound does S say?

Hazel:  Ssss.

Oliver:  Right.  Now, if you add S to bat, it says bats.

Hazel:  Bats.

Oliver:  Correct!  You can read bats now.

(Oliver writes a QU after BATS.)

Oliver:  Hazel, what does QU say?

Hazel:  I don’t know.  (walks away.  Oliver grabs her arm and drags her back.)

Oliver:  QU says “kwuh”.

Hazel:  Kwuh.

Oliver:  Good!  Now, what does it say at the end of bats?

Hazel:  Kwuh.

Oliver:  Batsqu.

Oliver then writes a – and underneath it writes the word LINE.  The chalkboard now looks like this:

BATSQU-
LINE

Oliver:  Hazel, L-I-N-E says line.

Hazel:  Line.

Oliver:  Now it says batsquline.

Hazel:  Batsquline.

Oliver (looking at me):  Mommy, Hazel can read now.  I just taught her.

December 2

Today I am thankful for winter picnics in the living room.

Also, for the massive amount of amusement I got listening to the kids negotiate which of their pretend friends and animals could join them at the table.

Like any big brother, Oliver ended negotiations by eating Hazel’s pretend puppy. His logic?

“What? I said the bunny could sit with us, after all.”

It’s A Miracle!

When we left Trader Joe’s today, Oliver saw an American flag flying over a nearby building.

I heard him say, “It’s a miracle!”

I asked what he meant, thinking he would answer with something about seeing the American flag meant to him, maybe mentioning Kullervo’s military service, or something heartwarming. Or I thought he would be amazed at the flag flying in the wind or something along those lines.

His response?

“Not a miracle, Mommy. It’s America!”

Well, at least he knows our flag.

Oliver’s Story

Earlier today, Oliver and I were chatting about babies.  I think we’d seen one on TV and Oliver thought it was cute.  Anyway, he then proceeded to tell me the following story:

“So, one time I [Note that this is Oliver talking, not me] had a baby in my tummy.  And it was born, and it was a girl, and she was so cute.   Like, so, so cute.  She was cuter than you were when you were a baby.  I named her Katy.  And I loved her so much.  And then she disappeared.

“But it was okay, because then I had another baby in my tummy.  And I loved her so so much, and she was born.  And I named her after you, Mommy.  She was so cute.  I just loved her.

“She had to go out to discover the world.  So I had to go with her, of course, because she was just a baby.  So I packed my backpack with all of the stuff we’d need.  Like, I packed a lot of corn, so we’d have food.  And other stuff too.  I loved my baby.”

Final Trip to the DC Zoo

One of my favorite places to take the kids in DC is the DC Zoo.  It’s free, there are animals, there’s place to run and it’s okay to act like kids.  Of course, since my kids are so young, we really only get to see the first three or four animals.  It turns out that this is okay, because the Asian Otters they have at the DC zoo are adorable, near the entrance, and a lot of fun, so we spend the majority of our zoo time there.

We wanted to make sure we had time to go to the zoo before we moved, so on Tuesday, my first day after leaving my job, we took a family trip to the zoo. When we got home, Oliver was practicing his typing skills on Kullervo’s computer, and later on we noticed that he’d tried to spell otter–“OTTDER”.
Here are some of the photos of the kids that I caught while we were watching the otters.

Today’s Oliverism/Hazeliloquy

Oliver and Hazel were arguing over a toy, and Oliver got mad, and said, “Hazel!  Go to Time Out!”

Hazel, who has never been sentenced to time out, walked dutifully over to the time out corner and sat down.

… I had to have a conversation with Oliver about how he doesn’t get to be the boss of Hazel, and certainly doesn’t get to send her to time out.  I am pretty sure Hazel was just excited to finally get some punishment around here.